so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
did you just send me my own nude
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
