i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she woke up with a sticky ear
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
