Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize