Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
