did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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