I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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