Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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