everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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