We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
