She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How external is "for external use only"?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
