I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so explain again why im purple
no
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
