making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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