so explain again why im purple
no
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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