I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
