I got chris browned last night
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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