you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
