I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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