Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
