Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
