So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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