Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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