Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
