singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
