sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
