Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
