Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize