he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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