I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
