Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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