that's an acceptable place to lick
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
