He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
