oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
