sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
