these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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