I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
