my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
