Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
