Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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