Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
