I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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