hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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