What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
