Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
