we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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