believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize