i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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