I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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