Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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