Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
