everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I want her autograph on my taint
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
