I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
