I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
