Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize