My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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