how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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