I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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