Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
