She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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