we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
