Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
